I'm gonna go to sleep. Let this wash all over me.

Force fed everytime.My tongue everytime.Why are the words nonsense?



Monday, June 21, 2004
Book of Lud: A Heap of Broken Images

V. Bridge and City
Geeze... I have so much to say.. but I can't/way to lazy to put any of it into words.. and I don't remember much ne ways. Well... you know what I mean. (i think)
 
So I'm really bored. Since I've been home I have read my Stephen King book, my relatives came over, read my SK book, went to my moms band concert, read, slept, read, took senior pictures, i'm going to Luther league @ 7 (i hope), & did I mention I have been reading this really awesome Stephen King book? Well.. I will tell you about it. So I have been addicted to this book the last few days.. on the ride to and from Dorian (the camp i was @ for a week, in case u didnt know) I read it.. so I'm pretty far. Somewhat over half-way, that is. page 419 of out 588. Its the 3rd in this series "The Dark Tower" .. its so awesome. The 6th book came out on hardback reciently and the 7th is coming out this year too.. but it will be about a year until it comes out on paperback. O well. Well, its awesome.. so thats probably why I've been so out of it lately. When I have problems/conflict in my life.. I read a lot more & as you can tell i've been reading a lot. hehe. Books are amazing though... they throw you into another dimention, another life, another reality... so I don't have to deal with mine.
Well, I havn't seen any of my friends since i've been home. (Cindy and Sara are both gone on vacaton) It feels werid too. Like I'm totally distant from the world. blah, I should probably get out. I was going to today but... well, this morning I woke up at about 1030am, ate some food, did stuff & read until about 2. cuz i had to take a shower and get ready for my senior pic at 3. Wow... Senior. I can't believe it!  But I do want collage to come. :)  I want to get involved and make new friends and meet charming males (ha!). And I gots luther league in like 2 hours or so. I'd rather go to barnes and nobles.. or something. I don't even know. Hmm.... so I'm a lazy bum... and... I don't want this week to start. Being really busy this summer is gonna be poopy (even though I keep saying I want more hours at work. whats with that?) ... yet being busy is another one of the things I do to "keep my mind off of" things i don't want to fret over.. or whatnot.
@ Dorian I roomed with Jenny (awesome kid! Yar, friend!), & she talked about her boo back home, Jon. It was really cute & of course I didn't mind, but I also felt like I had someone to come home too.. and I don't. And it made me sad. I guess I just like the feeling of someone to love, & love back. *sigh* I'm such a dumb mushy dork. *shakes off the feeling before getting too emotional* Well.. It was just strange.. talking with Jenny. Because we shared many many stories... and guess who all of my stories were about. Yea. So of course it was strange.. and it was like a whole rememberance (is that a word?) of past memories.. a past life, I suppose.  "She shines, in a world full of ugliness. She matters, when everything is meaningless. Fragile, she doesn't see her beauty, she tries to get away. Sometimes it seems that nothing is worth saving. I can't watch her slip away. I won't let you fall apart.. I won't let you fall apart.. I won't let you fall apart.. I won't let you fall apart.  She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by.. hoping someone can see. If I could fix myself I'd.. i'd.. But its too late for me! ... I wont let you fall apart. I was like you."   ...  wow that was weird. That song suddenly came to my head.. I hope I got the lyrics right anyways.  Very odd.. havn't you ever gotten that? An old song suddenly poppes into your head. I  havn't listened to that CD in months. It was NIN by the way "the fragile". Good song.. good CD "Still". Well... I'm going to go look for food yet not eat anything. The lesson for the day is: Instead of pondering life, read a book.

Posted at 4:48 pm by SeaFoamGreen

Bryan.... No Bryana,
June 21, 2004   07:20 PM PDT
 
Just finished the second book of Dark tower... found the wastelands, up to page 50.... HAHAHA you'll never win. I told you Im the sneaky...(pants... SneakyPants)
Bryan- I used my real name (?)
June 21, 2004   05:12 PM PDT
 
I almost didnt catch that in "getting too emotional" the EMO was italics... Good for you
 

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"Gray would be the color.. if I had a heart"

"Die young and save yourself"

"And she whispers into the mirror...(I'm broken)"

"You don't see me at all"

"We don't want the loonies taking over"

"You say you read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed"

"Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love, sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry. Sometimes my feelings get in the way, of what I feel I really needed to say"

"We're just blind pilots, in strange planes. Back seat drivers, in dead cars"

"Counting bodies like sheep (go back to sleep) to the rhythm of the war drums "

"I wake up and think dreams are real, I sleep so I don't have to feel"

"I'm just tired of counting bodies, is this mausoleum tardy? Let's just paint you a pretty face"

"You are no good. Cause I know you can`t sleep, til you know your overbearance makes me creep"

"Your the good things. Yeah thats you, yeah thats you, yeah.

"No matter what we say, no matter what we think, we will never, will never leave this room. What are we going to do about this?"

"When I go forwards, you go backwards, somewhere we will meet"

"Tell all the boys and girls from school, to keep breaking all the rules, to let their parents know their anger"

"Squirming through cuts in a throat. Cut it! Cut it!"

"Cut out my eyes to spite my heart, wish for sleep but never stopping, assignments pile up. "

"Any fool can easy pick a hole. I only wish I could fall in"

"Never leave me paralyzed, love. Leave me hypnotized, love."

"Dancing on the corpses' ashes"

"Here I am expecting just a little bit, too much from the wounded. But I see through it all and see you."

"Now we're all the terminal cases, but were so determined to thrive. And those with defeat on their faces, are those that we must keep alive"

"Chemicals will hit you. Chemicals will knock you down"

"Gaze into her killing jar I'd sometimes stare for hours. She even poked the holes so I can breath."

"So I threw you the obvious, to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy. Oh well. Apparently nothing. You don't see me. You don't see me at all."

"Do you remember that when we met you told me this gets harder, well it did."

"I'm gonna go to sleep Let this wash all over me"

"A million nights in my silent room. I wanna learn all the right words I never knew. The saddest things I put you through. I got to hold you soon I'm asking you."

"Without you, everything falls apart. Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces."

"I'm comfortable apart, it's all written on my chart, and I take what's given me most cooperatively. I do what people say and lie in bed all day, absolutely horrified, I hope you're satisfied."

"She ate me up for breakfast, she screwed me in a vice. But now I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied"

   

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Stuff I like:

90 Day Men
A Perfect Circle
Alkaline Trio
Anathallo
Armor For Sleep
At The Drive-In
Audiovent
Barry Manilow
Bear vs Shark
Blink-182 [the newer cd]
Brand New
The Bravery
Brazil
Bright Eyes
Broken Social Scene
Cake
Cave In
Coheed and Cambria
Coldplay
John Coltrane
Cursive
Miles Davis
Deftones
Dream Theater
Dresden Dolls
Duke Ellington
The Early November
Elliot Smith
The Faint
Fog
From Autumn to Ashes
Further Seems Forever
Gerry Mulligan
Gladiator soundtrack
Glassjaw
Godspeed You Black Emperor
Goo Goo Dolls
Heartland Jazz Orchestra
David Holsinger
Gustav Holst
Incubus
Interpol
The Junior Varsity
Ken Burns Jazz
Kenna
Kenny Garrett
Theodore Kerkezos
The Killers
Luca Brasi
Mars Volta
Modest Mouse
Mr.Bungle
Mum
Murder By Death
Muse
My Chemical Romance
Nine Inch Nails
Norah Jones
The Notwist
Oasis
Offspring (old)
Opeth
OSI
Perfect Circle
Pinback
Psapp
Q And Not U
Radiohead
Sahara Hotnights
Sevendust
Sėgur Ros
Smashing Pumpkins
Spoon
The Stills
The Strokes
Taking Back Sunday>br>Tenacious D
Thrice
Thursday
Tool
Tori Amos
The Unicorns
Yeah Yeah Yeahs


"Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
~Monty Python and The Holy Grail

"This is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic-on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg-or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse.”
~ C.S. Lewis

Gigging Proverb: The more you drink, the less we stink!!

"If you want to keep a friend, never criticize his family, religion, politics, or intonation."


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