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Wednesday, July 14, 2004
DCI = marching band on steroids
Modest Mouse is so frickin cool. I DLed about... 17 of their songs. So great, I love all of them. When I go to buy one of their CDs I won't know which one to pick.
I was downloading fonts so I could have some cool ones for our section shirts this year, and I found one called Zoltan. It definetly strikes a bell.. I think its the Gunlinger(Roland)'s pet bird as a boy. Maybe. *shrugs*
I don't have anything to say. lol I thought I did. o well, sucks to be you guys reading this. :P
Chow'
PS ~ I love DCI :)
"On the way to god don't know
My brain's the burger and my heart's the coal
I'm trying to get my head clear
I push things out through my mouth i get refilled through my ears
On this life that we call home the years go fast and the days go so slow"
Modest Mouse - Heart Cooks Brain
"We're goin' down the road towards tiny cities made of ashes
Gonna hit you on the face gonna punch you in your glasses. Oh no!
I just got a message that said "Yeah hell is freezin' over"
I Got a phone call from the Lord sayin' "Hey boy get a sweater. Right now"
So we're drinkin' drinkin' drinkin' drinkin' coca-coca-cola
I can feel it rollin' right on down, Oh right on down my throat
And as we're headed down the road towards tiny cities made of ashes
I'm gonna get dressed up in plastic gonna shake hands with the masses. Oh no!
Does anybody know a way that a body could get away?
Does anybody know a way?"
Modest Mouse - Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes
"Polar opposites don't push away
It's the same on the weekends as the rest of the days
And I know I should go but I'll probably stay
And that's all you can do about some things
I'm trying to drink away the part of the day
That I cannot sleep away"
Modest Mouse - Polar Opposites
"Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to say"
Modest Mouse - Edit The Sad Parts
Monday, July 12, 2004
See all those people on the ground
Wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
But just for tonight
The top of the world
Sitting here wishing
The things I've become
That something is missing
Maybe I...
But what do I know
And now it seems that I have found
Nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
Slow it down
Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
On My Own
Food For (boring) Thought: I always thought I didn't like The Used. It's just that I never had the CD I suppose because I know almost all of the words to about 3 or 4 of their songs. I think I didn't like them because they are "popular". *shrugs*
Kinda funny, I never knew what Sara's screen name was from. "BuRiEd MsLf ALvE". Well, durh its a Used song. You know what else is kinda funny? Saras old SN was GreenDayGirl07 or somethin like that, and Val Irogoyen's SN was GreenDayGirl52 (very similar, confused me for a while until sara got the buried myself alive one)... and Val, she just changed hers ever so reciently to xpoetictragedy52 which is another Used song. haha. Ironic, or a copycat? Way to act emo kids.
If I gave you pretty enough words
could you paint a picture of us that works
an emphasis on function rather than design
aren't you tired cause I will carry you
on a broken back and blown out knees
I have been where you are for a while.
Aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream
all the stars right out of the sky
And destroy the prettiest starry night
every evening that I die.
I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold -
I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold -
I am exhumed just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold -
I am exhumed just a little less human.
After all these images of pain
Have cut right thru you
I will kiss every scar, and weep you are not alone
Then I'll show you that place, in my chest where my heart, still tries to beat
It still tries to beat.
Aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream
All the stars right out of the sky
And destroy the prettiest starry night
Every evening that I die.
Live, Love, Burn, Die -
Live, Love, Burn, Die -
Live, Love, Burn, Die -
Live, Love, Burn, Die.
I've always really liked that song. Lip Gloss And Black by Atreyu. Its good.
The coldness (Bi-Polar)
What an evil thing. It's always around me, like a curse. It is a curse. The spell to reverse it, I have yet to find. My feelings are always dampered with the knowing of this cold. It will come for me again. The cold leaves at night, when I cry. I don't even stop to remember that it will come back again in the morning. A slap in the face to the ones who listen. I wake up refreshed, as if glad to be awakened from a bad dream. I throw my blanket of sorrow and pain off and start anew.
The fakeness
Something that I always must hold close, when I hate it so much. Everyday things are such a chore when I cannot be myself. Saying hello to people I know as they pass, putting on that fake smile that can look so real. I'll admit, the happiness I share in a good time is real, for the most part. Everyone hates holding back, knowing what they want to say will get them a slap in the face. I must put on this act for almost everyone that I communicate with. It is a good thing to have, yet is painfull.
The fear
What does one really have to be scared of? Rejection, resentment, pain, loneliness, yourself... These can all be overcome. Yes, I fear all of these things as well as most people do. I don't say that for me it's different, you'll never understand... because I'm not that naive. Everyone has fears that they will never say, they are too bold to admit them. As for me, I fear myself most of all. What happens in my mind, and how I effect other people I have always come to fear. This goes hand in hand with my Bi-polarness. I affect all of my fears, and I create them. That is why I fear myself the most. Rejection I can live with, as for loneliness... I don't know. In the past 4 years I have never been completly alone. Close, but there was always someone there. It will be hard, but I want to experience this type of fear the most because maybe then, I can overcome it. Then, I will be able to experience the happiness & selflessness I have never had.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Time to paint my fingernails black. ha.
Gah.
Yea... so now what.
I'm pathetic.
Dreaming lightly on your own.
I wouldn't mind you being alone
Nothing here has been the same
Ever since this winter came
Seized the engine in my heart
And the cold could break my soul apart
Frozen on my knees I pray
Love with melt this all away
Dreaming lightly on my own
I wouldn't mind to be alone
I'm freezing...
Dreaming lightly on your own
I wouldn't mind you being alone
Thought I may have spoke too soon
Now confusing fogs the moon
Dying for a yes or no
Life is full of maybe so's
Anything to break the ice
Love would more than just suffice
Dreaming lightly on my own
I wouldn't mind to be alone
I'm freezing
Sea Frost ~ Cave-In
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Why do girls have to be so damn confusing? (La De Da)
This broken city sky like butane on my skin
and stolen from my eyes
Hello Angel tell me where are you
Tell me where we go from here
And in this moment we can't close the lids on burning eyes
Our memories blanket us with friends we know like fallout vapor
Steel corpses stretch out towards and ending sun scorched and black
It reaches in and rips your flesh apart
With ice cold hands and grabs a hold of your heart
That was part of "Skylines and Turnstiles" by My Chemical Romance. In the process of looking for lyrics. I came across another My Chemical Romance song (both from "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love") that totally would of worked like... 2 months ago. This is "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville".
But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
And would anything matter if you're already dead?
And now should I be shocked, by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing
As your body remains,
And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
And our memories defeat us,
And I'll end this direst.
Next up on the ticket, once again My Chemical Romance (this is from the new CD, "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge") with "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"
I like this one especially because I'm a moody (emo) girl. :P
Well if you wanted honesty, That's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks,
The photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second story?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but still don't know what they mean
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, yeah
(I'm okay, yeah)
wish you were really hear listening to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I realize I'm okay!
(Trust me.)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
I think everyone should listen to music... good music. Like Interpol, they are pretty funky. I like. I'm gonna attempt to be abstract now. ha
Why does all of my happiness have a underlining state of depression? Like those optical illusions, once you find it, you cannot be distracted into seeing the happiness that was the original picture. Thinking is contagious and for me, always bad.
In the words of Murder By Death "if you can't make up your mind just how different you should be reorganize your priorities to expect more sympathy". Maybe thats not a good quote, because I don't like the part about expecting sympathy. But thats all I got. I like this next song because this is the opening to the song: This one is called Stella was a diver and she's always down. Heres the last stanza.
There's something that's invisible
There's some things you can't hide
Try to detect you when I'm sleeping
In a wave you say goodbye
Not bad, ehh? There was a song that had something about a black box in it. And I cannot for the life of me recall any of the other lyrics, the band, or title. Well I gotta go bask in my busyness.. later.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Doctor doctor wont you fix me?
It's bugging me, grating me
And twisting me around
Yeah I'm endlessly caving in
And turning inside out
'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control
It's holding me, morphing me
And forcing me to strive
To be endlessly cold within
And dreaming I'm alive
'Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking down
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control
And I want you now
I want you now
I'll feel my heart implode
And I'm breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith erode
Muse~Hysteria
Its driving me crazy.. I'm trying to find this song I had on in my car that totally reminded me of Bryan, but I can't find it now. ugh. I got this one which is good.. but not the one I'm looking for. Gah! I can't sleep until I find it! lol
So everyone is going to Chicago tomorrow.. actually like 6 hours... except me. It sucks. But my grandparents 50th wedding anniversity party is here tomorrow..er.. today... and my cousins are coming in from Ohio. So that should be exciting. The party will just about die about 7 or 8. Everyone will be gone by then.. so its 3pm-8pm basically. Way to be in the middle of my day. *sigh* And on the 4th of July I work! So i cant see my friends & do all the fun stuff with them until like 1030 :( It makes me sad. So depressing lately... I was really considering walking out of work today and driving to Lansing. Maybe I'll quit... naw... cuz I know i'd regret it later. Blah. I miss Bryan. :( g'nite.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Love,
Heather :)
P.S- hehehehehehehehehe
 
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Dreams do come true... literally.
Man.. i was in a good mood, and now look.
I told my parents over "dinner" that on the 4th my friends are spending the night at brennas after the fireworks. so my dad said "i dont think you should go sleep over at brennas after the 4th because u get this notion that u can stay out all night". i looked confused and my mom said "u did that once before".
yea. so im like "ok, i couldnt go see spider man, i cant even see the fireworks on the 4th cuz im working til 1130, and i can't go with all of my friends to chicago to see greg on the 3rd."
Blah.
Meat Wildstorm: Tell your mom that if you can't go to brennas you're gonna ditch Clarinet Choir :D
ha, like that would work
SeaFoamGreen87: i'm gonna go if they let me or not
SeaFoamGreen87: i'm tired of missing out
Meat Wildstorm: ok ill make sure they know its my fault
Meat Wildstorm: Ill kidnap you
.... my mom just came downstairs. she asked if i was going to clarinet choir and i used the "only if i can go to brennas". "when?" "4th of july" "yea i guess, as long as if i like call there u will be there". "yea of course"
*shrugs*
looks like another pointless blog
[hehe]
(As for the title... it has nothing to do with this blog. its just too personal and cute/mushy to put in here ;o) but I'm a very, very happy girl. This much)
---------> http://www.livejournal.com/users/thelastguardian/
An incredibly amazing mind at work!!
So i was looking for a picture of a candy bar to put on the "music passed off" chart that i made for the saxes [i failed and ended up making my own sorta-looking-like candy bar], and i came apon this and thought it was real funny. I guess these two guys had a huge candy bar and decided to walk around town and take dumb pictures with it, then give the pictures captions. so here's a few.
John walking amoung the pigeons...with the candy bar.
Chris having a special moment...with the candy bar.
John and I were both very tired after our day in the city, thankfully the candy bar drove us home.
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Pandora Radio
"Gray would be the color.. if I had a heart"
"Die young and save yourself"
"And she whispers into the mirror...(I'm broken)"
"You don't see me at all"
"We don't want the loonies taking over"
"You say you read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed"
"Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love, sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry. Sometimes my feelings get in the way, of what I feel I really needed to say"
"We're just blind pilots, in strange planes. Back seat drivers, in dead cars"
"Counting bodies like sheep (go back to sleep) to the rhythm of the war drums
"
"I wake up and think dreams are real,
I sleep so I don't have to feel"
"I'm just tired of counting bodies, is this mausoleum tardy? Let's just paint you a pretty face"
"You are no good. Cause I know you can`t sleep, til you know your overbearance makes me creep"
"Your the good things. Yeah thats you, yeah thats you, yeah.
"No matter what we say, no matter what we think, we will never, will never leave this room. What are we going to do about this?"
"When I go forwards, you go backwards, somewhere we will meet"
"Tell all the boys and girls from school, to keep breaking all the rules, to let their parents know their anger"
"Squirming through cuts in a throat. Cut it! Cut it!"
"Cut out my eyes to spite my heart, wish for sleep but never stopping, assignments pile up. "
"Any fool can easy pick a hole. I only wish I could fall in"
"Never leave
me paralyzed, love. Leave me hypnotized, love."
"Dancing on the corpses' ashes"
"Here I am expecting just a little bit, too much from the wounded. But I see through it all and see you."
"Now we're all the terminal cases, but were so determined to thrive. And those with defeat on their faces,
are those that we must keep alive"
"Chemicals will hit you. Chemicals will knock you down"
"Gaze into her killing jar I'd sometimes stare for hours. She even poked the holes so I can breath."
"So I threw you the obvious, to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy. Oh well. Apparently nothing. You don't see me. You don't see me at all."
"Do you remember that when we met you told me this gets harder, well it did."
"I'm gonna go to sleep
Let this wash all over me"
"A million nights in my silent room. I wanna learn all the right words I never knew. The saddest things I put you through. I got to hold you soon I'm asking you."
"Without you, everything falls apart. Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces."
"I'm comfortable apart, it's all written on my chart, and I take what's given me most cooperatively. I do what people say and lie in bed all day, absolutely horrified, I hope you're satisfied."
"She ate me up for breakfast, she screwed me in a vice. But now I don't know why I feel so tongue-tied"
Stuff I like:
90 Day Men
A Perfect Circle
Alkaline Trio
Anathallo
Armor For Sleep
At The Drive-In
Audiovent
Barry Manilow
Bear vs Shark
Blink-182 [the newer cd]
Brand New
The Bravery
Brazil
Bright Eyes
Broken Social Scene
Cake
Cave In
Coheed and Cambria
Coldplay
John Coltrane
Cursive
Miles Davis
Deftones
Dream Theater
Dresden Dolls
Duke Ellington
The Early November
Elliot Smith
The Faint
Fog
From Autumn to Ashes
Further Seems Forever
Gerry Mulligan
Gladiator soundtrack
Glassjaw
Godspeed You Black Emperor
Goo Goo Dolls
Heartland Jazz Orchestra
David Holsinger
Gustav Holst
Incubus
Interpol
The Junior Varsity
Ken Burns Jazz
Kenna
Kenny Garrett
Theodore Kerkezos
The Killers
Luca Brasi
Mars Volta
Modest Mouse
Mr.Bungle
Mum
Murder By Death
Muse
My Chemical Romance
Nine Inch Nails
Norah Jones
The Notwist
Oasis
Offspring (old)
Opeth
OSI
Perfect Circle
Pinback
Psapp
Q And Not U
Radiohead
Sahara Hotnights
Sevendust
Sėgur Ros
Smashing Pumpkins
Spoon
The Stills
The Strokes
Taking Back Sunday>br>Tenacious D
Thrice
Thursday
Tool
Tori Amos
The Unicorns
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
~Monty Python and The Holy Grail
"This is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic-on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg-or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse.
~ C.S. Lewis
Gigging Proverb: The more you drink, the less we stink!!
"If you want to keep a friend, never criticize his family, religion, politics, or intonation."
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what the..??
