AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
During every rehersal with Patty and Nolen so far I've wanted to cry. I almost did today and I feel like shit. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. Or practice. But can I do either? No. I'm in this shit hole of a computer lab (actually it's really nice) becasue I have a paper due tomorrow. Tomorrow. Horray for me. Oh, by the way, thats what I did Tuesday too. I took off work AND spent every bit of time I had up until 1am writing ANOTHER paper that was due today. GAH! It's my own fault because I procrastinated, but what the hell. Why did I schedule my recital during such a shitty time. This sucks.
I complain, which is stupid. And people are like "you'll do fine" and I'm like no I won't. If I were them I'd say the same thing. But, I want them so say, wow you're so busy I can't believe it. You work yourself too hard. Take it easy and calm and you're recital will be great. Even if you make mistakes, just keep chugging and don't think about it."
I guess thats what I shoud say to myself.
I am so stressed and freaking out. Also, I have to praactice for the JAZZ FESTIVAL that is TOMORROW!!!! There is still stuff I suck on and I'm the lead for christ's sake. What the hell.
Ok for my sake:
10 music history
11 lesson
12-2 WS
2 quartet w/ nolen
3 eat??
4 Symp winds
5-7 work jazz
Practice JAZZ & recital stuff
tomorrow will suck too. I was supposed to go out with people I work with for the first time on Wednesday but I had homework that I did until midnight. Thankfully I got to see Pat. I've feel like I haven't seen him at all this week. Oh man it's already thrusday... So, Saturday, jazz fest like all frickin day. Sunday, 9AM work with c&i group for a project due TUESDAY, 2-4 work with nolen and patty, 5pm meeting, then probably more c&i because it's going to take forever. Then on Monday I have a double reeds playing test, a percussion written and playing test, music history listening quiz. Wed I have a music history exam. Holy shit. Life really sucks right now. And even after all this shit, there is something going on every weekened until school gets out (or until after commencement). What is crazy is that school WILL get out soon. About a month. crazy. I hope I don't slack, which I am prone to doing. I'm not doing so hot in music history or mostly, georgraphy. Ugh. I just need to study more, but I hate doing that too.
Whatever. I need to write this damn paper. I'll put on Pandora and hopfully it won't take long (not)