Blah. Thats about it folks. I don't know what I'm doing, or why I feel how I feel... but maybe things will get better from here. I've hurt and I hurt. And my feelings are confusing as usual. I think that Bryan and I are just friends (so please stop harassing me about it), it will make things easier.
Well I'm going away for a week, miss me! :) I'll have fun though.. it will be nice to get away from all of the everyday crap. ya kno. I still havn't packed and I'm leaving tomorrow at 7am & I have work 2-6 and then cindys graduation party. oops. I took the ACT for the 2nd time this morning.. how stressful. Blak.
So yesterday the whole posse was @ Jills playing DDR, and we were all sweaty and such (+ it's really hot outside) so we wanted to go swimming, but everyone in Tinley that had pools had some kinda conflict not letting us go to their pool. So we went to Lansing to swim @ Bryans. & after an hour car ride (damn traffic), we were in his misquito infested yard swimming. Later some of his friends came over. Jeremy, Jason, Brett, Sam, & Noel. It was funny because Bryan and I knew all of them but they were like "who the hell are you?". I know Noel doesnt read this so i can talk about him if i want to. + I don't really care. I havn't seen him in.. a month, so it was sorta like "huh?" "what the...". Yar... dot dot dot.... dot..... dooooootttttt...... *makes farting nosie* stinky. :) hehe. I'm a dork. So anyways, i got the balls to talk to him. Thats my story lol. I left you in crazy anticipation didn't I. hehe.
So I really really want this computer in my room. I'm the only one that uses it, my brothers is in his room, and we have wireless connection. So poop. All I do is listen to music/DL music and talk to my friends. I don't like who-ever being able to come downstairs and stare over my shoulder.
... feelings.. nothing more than feelings... trying to forget my... feelings of HATE! Imagine... beating on your face... trying to forget my... feelings of HATE! hehe. thats actually some really old song of couse they say "love" instead of hate.. but in the Offspring song "Feelings", they changed it up a bit.
So... my phone just rang and I opened it and it just.. stopped. Ya, maybe someone hung up ... but it doesn't even say "1 missed call". hmm.
... dum de dum... I'm glad I'm going away... away from alll of this .. work.. scheduling lessons.. friends being mushy... boys. But you know what sucks? When I come back from this camp thingy... everythings just going to be thrown into motion. Marching band starts, I start giving lessons, I'll have more hours at work. Just poopy.
I hope I havn't turned into Ed Lesniak.. I think I said last night that I need someone cuz I get lonely. lol. I don't want to be one of those ppl that need a boyfriend. Cuz I'm not all pathetic and stuff... I think. Well, I'll just blame it on all of my friends having boyfriends. Well not all of them do.. but I'll blame it on them anyways. :)
Aren't these colors getting ugly? I was trying to do a shade of red, a shade of blue.. but it just got gross. Well.. so I'm gonna go cuz I got work soon (blah, hopfully it will cheer me up) and to stop tortuing you with these colors.
